Stupid Brownies!!!!


I’m not perfect. I’m no where near a perfect baker. And that really irritates the bejezus out of me. I get REAAALLLLY mad when I’m not good at something right away or when I mess something up. So, writing a blog post in the midst of my anger seems like a good idea. Right? Riiiigggghhhhhttttt.

Anyway, I made, er, attempted to make Ina Garten’s Outrageous Brownies. It’s a little more tedious than most brownie recipes-actually, it’s not really tedious, I just made it more tedious. Because that’s how I roll. At 12:00 am.

The recipe called for semi-sweet chocolate chips, and I’m thinking “Screw that! Im using full-on dark chocolate from Trader Joe’s because I’m pretentious and it’ll taste better!” And, it’s what I had in my pantry. It’s rumored that the Pound Plus chocolate from Trader Joe’s is actually Callebaut. So, there! I unwrapped and chopped a whole pound of this business. By the way, the original recipe was made to feed 5,000 people. Jesus fed them with one fish, Ina fed them dessert with one pound of chocolate.

After chopping this bad boy up, the next step was to add a pound of butter and 6 oz. of unsweetened chocolate. At this point I think “I don’t need to cut the butter into squares! Throw it all in!”. Yeah…..

That was kind of a pain in the ass. Yeah, I said it. In any case, it gave me a good opportnity to try out my new Ultimate Spatuala from GIR. Have you heard of this? It’s pretty bas ass (I SAID IT AGAIN!). It’s a little pricey for a spatula but it’s well worth it. Super sturdy, high heat resistance and it gives you a sense of power when holding it. She-Ra power. And it comes in 11 colors. I want them all. Buy me stuff.

Anyway, here’s the melted chocolate.

Sexy, sexy!!!!!

After mixing the rest of the ingredients together, I thought it would be super cute to use mini muffin pans to make mini brownies. Then I don’t have to cut them up and they’ll be perfectly portioned. I used my 24 cavity muffin/cupcake pan and the Wilton’s 24 square cavity silicone pan. And yes, I greased and floured them. Into the oven they went and I was prepared to experience outrageous brownie heaven.

That didn’t happen.

This happened.

And this.

Needless to say, this was not a visually appealing success. However, the brownies tasted pretty damn good. I did manage to get a few decent ones to take a photo with.

Since this is a Bake It, Make it Monday post, I GUUEESSSS I should share the recipe. Like I said, it tasted really good (although I felt it was a tad too sweet). So here you go!

Ina Garten’s Outrageous Brownies.

1 pound unsalted butter
1 pound plus 12 ounces semisweet chocolate chips
6 ounces unsweetened chocolate
6 extra-large eggs
3 tablespoons instant coffee granules (I left this out)
2 tablespoons pure vanilla extract
2 1/4 cups sugar (I used 2)
1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
1 tablespoon baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
3 cups chopped walnuts (left this out too)
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. 340 if you’re using mini something pans.

Butter and flour a 12 x 18 x 1-inch baking sheet.

Melt together the butter, 1 pound of chocolate chips, and the unsweetened chocolate in a medium bowl over simmering water. Allow to cool slightly. In a large bowl, stir (do not beat) together the eggs, coffee granules, vanilla, and sugar. Stir the warm chocolate mixture into the egg mixture and allow to cool to room temperature.

In a medium bowl, sift together 1 cup of flour, the baking powder, and salt. Add to the cooled chocolate mixture and mix until just combined (this is important for brownies!). Toss the walnuts and 12 ounces of chocolate chips in a medium bowl with 1/4 cup of flour, then add them to the chocolate batter. Pour into the baking sheet.

Bake for 20 minutes, then rap the baking sheet against the oven shelf to force the air to escape from between the pan and the brownie dough. Bake for about 15 minutes, until a toothpick comes out with a few crumbs. (I only baked 15 minutes in the mini pan, turned and baked 5 more). Do not overbake! Allow to cool thoroughly, refrigerate, and cut into squares.


The Wilton’s square silicone pan thing worked after I stuck the whole pan in the freezer for an hour. Then I could peel those little bad boys out. Word.



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  3. What kind of baker does not know to allow your baked goods to cool off a bit in the pan they were baked in BEFORE trying to remove them and yes, ruining every bit/one YOU DO REMOVE WHILE THEY ARE HOT or even just a little warm?? How long have you been doing this? LOL

    1. Miss Enright, if you had thoroughly read the recipe, you would know that the brownies were cooled completely before removing. Your comment was rude, unnecessary, and completely out of line. I have been baking for as long as I can remember, but I’m human and have unsuccessful attempts.

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